Cow Jokes

Cow jokes are udderly hilarious! After all, cows are one of the cutest farm animals that exist. Plus, they provide delicious milk for us! If you love cows, here are some of the funniest cow jokes for kids and adults:

Funny Cow Jokes For Kids And Adults

two brown cattles
Unsplash / Doruk Yemenici

Here are a collection of jokes cow lovers are going to think are hilarious!

  1. Why are cows such great dancers? They have all the best moooves!
  2. What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder!
  3. What do you call a cow that doesn’t give milk? A Milk Dud.
  4. What did the cow tell the butcher? Please stop, or else we’re gonna have some beef.
  5. What do cows read in the morning to get their news? From the moos paper.
  6. What game do cows like to play at parties? Moosical chairs.
  7.  Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way.
  8. What’s an unusual way to make a milkshake? Give a cold cow a pogo stick.
  9. What would you get if you cross an angry sheep and a grumpy cow? An animal that’s totally in a baaaaaad moooood.
  10. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cow go. Cow go who? No silly cows go moo.
  11. Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Their horns don’t work.
  12. Where did the cow spend all its money? At the cow-sino.
  13. What would you get if you milked a really forgetful cow? Milk of Amnesia.
  14. Why won’t cows join the police force? They refuse to participate in steak-outs.
  15. What would feed a bratty cow? Spoiled milk.
  16. What did one cow say to the other on a cold night? “I don’t really know about you but I’m Fresian.”
  17. What do you call a cow after an earthquake? A milkshake.
  18. Why did the farmer stop making cow jokes? He kept butchering every one.
  19. What do you use to count cows? A cow-culator.
  20. What do you call a rude cow? Beef jerky.

Cow Jokes And Puns For Kids And Adults

white and brown cow on green grass field
Unsplash / Zoë Gayah Jonker

If you want more cow jokes, you don’t have to search any further. Here are some puns that will give you a good laugh!

  1. What would you call a cow wearing armor? Sir Loin.
  2. What happens when a cow has PMS? It gets moo-dy.
  3. What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? A moo sician.
  4. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
  5. What math problems do cows like to solve? Moo-tiplication problems.
  6. What do you call a cow that eats grass? A lawn-mooer.
  7. What did the police cow say to the bad guy he caught? Don’t mooooooove a moo-scle.
  8. How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down!
  9. Why did the cow jump over the moon? He thought the mooooon was calling to him.
  10. How do cows introduce their wives? Hey guys! Meat Patty.
  11. What do you call a magic cow? Moo-dini.
  12. What is a cow’s dream job? Being an udder cover agent.
  13. What do cows say when they hear a bad joke? “I am not amoosed.”
  14. What is a cow’s favorite color? Marooooooon.
  15. How would you address the queen of cows? Your Moojesty.
  16. What happened when the cow ran into the fence? It was udderly destructed.
  17. What do cows put on french toast? Mooooolasses.
  18. How does lady gaga usually like her steak? Raw, raw, raw, raw, raw!
  19. What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull-dozer.
  20. What did the cow say when someone told her a lie? Sounds like a lot of bull to me.

The Best Cow Jokes For The Whole Family

herd of cattle on grass field during daytime
Unsplash / Luca Basili

Here are some more funny cow jokes to tell your family and friends!

  1. Why did the cow look so confused? He was having deja moo.
  2. What is a cow’s favorite movie series? Steer Wars.
  3. What is the best way to get a cow to be quiet? Just press the moo-te button.
  4. When you cross a smurf with a cow, what do you get? Blue cheese.
  5. When you cross two ducks and a cow, what do you get? Quackers and milk.
  6. Where do cows usually go on a Saturday night? To the movies!
  7. Why do cows want to see Times Square? Because it’s in Moo York City.
  8. What did the cow say before making a risky poker bet? The steaks have never been higher.
  9. What song do cows love to sing? I’ve got the mooooves like Jagger.
  10. Why are cows always telling each other jokes? To keep themselves amoosed!
  11. What do you call a cow on a diet? Lean beef.
  12. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
  13. What do you a hurt cow? Ow.
  14. How do you make Swiss cheese? Using milk from a holey cow.
  15. What did the cow shout when it did a cannonball into the swimming pool? “Cow-abunga!”
  16. Why is it so hard to hurt a cow’s feelings? Their hides are so thick.
  17. What did one cow asked its friend? “Got milk?”
  18. Why do cows like to go to the spa? To get some re-hoove-ination.
  19. What do cows say when they apologize to one another? Sorry, I made a mis-steak.
  20. What did Donald Trump tell the cow? That’s fake moos!

Hilarious Cow Jokes To Share With Your Family

brown cow on green grass field during daytime
Unsplash / Vivienne Nieuwenhuizen

Are you still in the mood to laugh? Good! Here are some more funny cow jokes:

  1. What do cows do when they go skiing? Moo-guls
  2. Why do cows work? To make mooooney
  3. What do cows like to listen to? Moo Sic.
  4. What is as big as a cow but weighs nothing? His shadow.
  5. What happens when cows stop shaving? They grow moostaches.
  6. What is a cow’s favorite subject in school? Cowculus.
  7. What did the farmer say to lazy the cow? Just give me 2% milk.
  8. When is milk the freshest? When it’s still in the cow!
  9. Why did the calf cry at school? There was a bully there.
  10. Where do cows go on their days off? To a moo-seum.
  11. What did the cow say about the farmer’s bad outfit? That outfit is so bad it’s laugha-bull.
  12. Why do cows huddle together when it rains? To keep each udder dry.
  13. What do you call a cruel cow?  A de-moooon.
  14. Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
  15. What do you call a scared cow? A cow-ard.
  16. Why did the artist love painting cows? He said they were his moos.
  17. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
  18. What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.
  19. What did the cows do after someone broke into the barn? They beefed up their security.
  20. Why is telling a cow a funny cow joke pointless? They’ve probably herd it before.

Silly Cow Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

cattle in green field under blue and white skies during daytime
Unsplash / AB

The cow jokes aren’t done yet. Here are a few more for you to share!

  1. Where do cows get their medicine? At the farm-acy.
  2. Where do young cows eat lunch? At the calf-eteria.
  3. Where do cow farts come from? Their dairy-ère.
  4. What kind of lunch meat do cows like best? A bull-ogna.
  5. Where would you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.
  6. Why don’t cows have money? Because the farmers keep draining them dry.
  7. What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? An udder failure.
  8. Why do cows stay close together when it’s cold out? To keep each udder warm!
  9. Who’s in charge of the dairy operations? The cow-ptain.
  10. Can you make money owning cows? Yes, I’ve herd it’s really profitable.
  11. What did the cow say when the bull broke up with her? Without you, I’ll never be whole milk again!
  12. What animal goes “oom, oom”? A cow walking backwards.
  13. What did the cow say when the farmer pulled its tail? How diary!
  14. What do you call a cow that blends in with its surroundings? Cow-moo-flauged.
  15. What is a cow’s favorite magazine? Moogue.
  16. Where would you find a cow who’s having a really bad day? At McDonalds.
  17. What is a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos.
  18. When one cow said “Mooo!” to the other, what was the second cow’s reply? “I was going to say that!”
  19. Why did the farmer buy a brown cow? He wanted chocolate milk!
  20. What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen, but not herd.”
  21. What would happen if you tried talking to a cow? Everything would just go in one ear and out the udder.
  22. Why couldn’t the two cows get along? Because they had beef with one another.
  23. What type of camera do cows use? Cow-non.
  24. Where do Russian cows come from? Mos-cow.
  25. What do you call a momma cow who’s just given birth? Decalfinated.
  26. What do you call a group of cows with a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
  27. What did the mommy cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime!

About the author

January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. She writes about astrology, games, love, relationships, and entertainment. January graduated with an English and Literature degree from Columbia University. Read more articles from January on Thought Catalog.

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